I Am the Iconic Line Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. Yet, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this winter.
The Role and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who poses as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. For much of the movie, the investigation plot functions as a basic structure for Schwarzenegger to have charming scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout involves a child named Joseph, who unprompted rises and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”
The young actor was portrayed by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the Olsen twins and the character of the child who returns in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with a slate of movies listed on his IMDb. He also is a regular on the con circuit. Not long ago recalled his recollections from the production over three decades on.
Memories from the Set
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there briefly, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a good work environment. He was a joy to have on set.
“It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was like an iPhone. This was the hottest tech out there, that funky old yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being positive?
You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the other children would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.
That Famous Quote
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it caused the crew to chuckle. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it originated, based on what I was told, was they didn't have specific roles. A few scenes were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, let me sleep on it" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she thought it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.